Declaration of Independence

[oldclaypaws]

Suppose a bit of EU legislation is introduced by the European Court of Human Rights, guaranteeing the democratic right to self determination for the populous of land areas of say, 5 acres or more. Its meant to grant rights to oppressed regional minorities, but an unforeseen consequence is that as an owner of a woodland, you can now declare independence as a new country and draft your own constitution, laws and foreign policy. You can completely ignore all UK laws and conventions and start from scratch.

What will your Nations new name, head of state, currency and foreign policy be? Will you have elections, be a benevolent dictator, have strict environmental laws, allow building, and what will your immigration policy be?

Its your little world, what will you do now you run it?

[oldclaypaws]

In an attempt to breath life into this thread I shall demonstrate my own thoughts in the hope others will humourously chip in what they might like to adopt as National policy in their own woodland Republic's.

Oldclawpawsia is a Republic with a benevolent dictator as unelected life-long Head of State. Our currency is the 'Cup of Tea'- payment for all services may be demanded by the phrase; 'your turn, stick the kettle on'. Promissory 'I.O.U. a Cup of Tea' notes may be issued for various goods and services. Immigration is permitted on a 2 hour permit with consent. Immigrants are required to bring a bottle, interesting snack foods, only partly consume them, and leave the bulk on exit. Immigration by UKIP voters is strictly prohibited, although Raving Loonies are welcome.

The National Sports are garden tractor racing, 'new flower spotting' and 'find the dog'.

The economy is largely based on sustainable fuel production, craft produce and selling unwanted gifts and any old tat we don't want on Ebay.

National holidays and festivals are Boxing Day Barbecue, Bluebellsattheirbest Week, Elderberry Wineday & Chestnut Harvesting Week. Watching Eurovision is a cultural highlight and compulsory, as is voting for women with beards and shouting 'Go Conchita !'.

The carrying of clipboards is strictly prohibited, punishable by a boot up the backside, as is praising Sunderland FC, whistling annoying tunes, failing to make tea on request and talking politics.

The Republic is allied to other Republic's that produce decent cheese, beer and tools. It has a non-interventionist and non-confrontational attitude to all neighbouring countries, apart from Sunderland. Any country that makes interesting savoury snacks such as Bhaji's, sundried tomatoes, Filled crust Pizza or Pork and Cranberry pies is invited to send ambassadors, with diplomatic gifts.

Nobody is allowed to build or do anything annoying within a radius of a mile of Oldclaypawsia, apart from our glorous leader, President NIMBY-PAWS, who can do anything he can get away with.

Our environmental policy is based on eradicating prickly things, encouraging tasty things, and minimising noise other than Radio 5 Live during Newcastle matches. Greenhouse emissions are minimal, other than personal methane release after consuming Bhajis and Cheesy Chestnut burgers.